Who here has a hard time getting up in the morning and hitting the gym that is 10 minutes down the road? Or saying I’ll go later, and you realize its 10pm and you’re heading to bed soon. As much as it’s easy to say “later”, it’ll become harder to mould the body that you want. It’s definitely hard to wake up in the morning and push yourself to go to the gym. But think of it as this way. When you are older and plan to have children of your own, wouldn’t you want to stay fit and healthy to run around and chasing those little rascals? Or even playing sports with them?
If going to the gym alone is boring or scares you; take a friend with you. Or your significant other. Or hire a personal trainer. If none of these apply to you, then doing workouts at home or even running around your neighborhood is more than enough. I personally don’t go to the gym due to many reasons. But I have found a workout that that best fits my style and my routine. One is Insanity by Shaun T Fitness. The other is Millionaire Hoy on YouTube. Both of these workouts are high intensity workouts that will make you huff and puff (and maybe puke) at the end of the workout.
The one thing I tell myself if I want to stay in bed and not workout that day is this: “I’ve made progress mentally and physically from working out throughout however many months it has been, would I want to give up my progress and go back to my unhappy self just because of one day of not working out?” All of the progress you made on your arms, legs, buttocks, shoulders and stomach will be gone to waste if you skip a day that you should’ve went harder than yesterday. Now some of you may think “Oh, skipping one day isn’t a big deal”. Let me ask you this, when you skipped that one day of workout, did you want to get up the next day and hit the gym or be lazy yet again and do nothing?
I received a phone call from a good friend of mine. We were having a good conversation when things took a turn. The friend had told me to wait several times on the phone. I didn’t hear my friend saying anything but “hold on”, in which I had thought my friend went to talk to a friend or grab food.
I had hung up after 20 seconds of waiting and repeatedly saying “hello?”
A minute later the friend had called back, this is how portion of the conversation went.
Friend: Why would you hang up? Couldn’t wait for 20 second for me to get my drink from my car, which took 20 seconds?
My reply: I first of all didn’t hear you say you were going to your car to get something, which resulted me to hang up, thinking you were talking to someone or busy. I had hung up so you could call me back, if that was the case.
Friend: This is your ego talking.
Throughout the 30 minutes of phone call we had over the phone, I was laughing, hysterically. Whether my friend had heard it or not. I laughed not because I was trying to disrespect them, hurt them, and make them feel unwanted or think the conversation was funny.
My way of not letting things affect me physically and mentally is laughing it off. If I had reacted in an angry way to what was said, my responses to my friend would’ve been hurtful.
Because I laughed it off, my responses to them were a bit easy for my friend to handle and easy for me to understand the situation in a clear mind, instead of having a cloud over my head.
Laughing things off in a serious situation helps both parties to know where to take it from there.
If laughing it off at that moment isn’t an appropriate time, in some cases may not be, than remaining in silence and listening to what the other party has to say helps. Afterwards, when you think about the situation alone, you could laugh it off, because whatever was said or was done is not worth stressing over.
Another reason why you should laugh it off is to thinking of it this way. “Would the situation even matter 5 years down the road?” “Or even matter the next day” “Would the argument we’re having right now even matter?”
Think about that the next time you want to put fire on fire in an argument.
It’s extremely hard letting go of things. This could be what people said to you, how they treated you, what you heard and what you saw. Different angles can trigger you in some way.
The key to a stressful and happy environment/life is LETTING IT GO.
It may be hard as it seems, but
TRUST ME, let it go like a loose paper.
Question yourself this. When you respond in an angry or stressful way, when you hear someone say something negative about you to you or to someone else, does it really matter? Does what other people opinions about yourself whether negative or positive really matter?
The science behind this is that when you respond back to a person in an angry way or in a stressful way you’re validating their opinion ABOUT YOU. You’re approving what they are being said to be true. When you know about yourself and love yourself than anybody in the world, why would you want to respond back to it? Why not stay in silence?
Another way of looking at it other than someone talking bad about you is yelling. When you do something wrong and your parents or friends yell at you for your mistakes, is it really that important for you to stress over it? Or to even respond back and fire up the situation?
The fact behind this is that the person yelling at you is already fired up and your mistake has been added to their ‘to do list’. So, for you to stress over of what your parents had said to you over the mistake you had done, let it go. You know what mistake you have done, next time you just not repeat it. Don’t go be crying in the corner for what has been said, or don’t go yelling back at your own mother. IT doesn’t do anything nor will it change anything.
Now behind this situation, the mistake that you did was probably embarrassing or you can’t forget about it. Is thinking about the situation healthy for you? NO. It can cause more stress and make you think of what if’s and question yourself.
A helpful way of letting go of things can be the following:
-Walking it out.
-Writing it down and ripping it apart.
-Writing a draft email and deleting it.
-Simple breathing in and out
-Just don’t think about it; distract yourself.
An example from my life is this: I ate ice cream yesterday. My body said no, but my mind said just do it. So I did. Did I regret it?, again heart said no, mind said yes. All I could think about is why I would eat that ice cream. My thoughts distracted me from doing anything. Then I paused. I told myself this, “Listen, you’re young/old (age doesn’t matter), is the ice cream going to kill you in a few hours? No. Will it cause cancer? No. Will it cause you from exploding like a bomb? No. It may cause you a few extra pounds. But can you shred off those pounds when you’re working out? Yes.
After this, I was able to breathe. Tell myself to relax and move on. There was absolutely no point for me to keep thinking and cause anxiety over eating ice cream.
Another example from my life is this: I recently broke up with my boyfriend due to certain issues that occurred over the two months. It had triggered me really hard and I was losing myself. I then sat myself down and told myself “Why am I stressing over something that is done?” “Why am I stressing over someone who I’m not going to marry?” “Why am I stressing over something when the fault is from the other party” Yes. I do miss him. But wouldn’t I rather be happy that I found out about the “thing” now than finding out years down the road? So I stopped thinking about it and let it go.
-Unfollowed him on Instagram
-Blocked him off of Facebook.
-Wrote it down on a piece of paper and ripped it up.
-Took walks by myself.
Most importantly: Breathing. Breathing in and out is a sign of you controlling what you want to let go and keep.
You’re not alone in this. Everyone is holding onto something; whether it is verbally or physically and it is affecting them in some way. Letting go isn’t about forgetting about it, it’s healing your mind and heart.
Having an exact plan of what you want to do with life is unrealistic. But, having an idea of what you want to do is. It’s like driving. When you drive with a destination in mind, you miss out many things along the way. You miss out the sun gazing at you, the wind blowing in your hair, road rage increases, people running, guys hollering at you and observe around the area you’re driving in. You would concentrate straight ahead, stressing over to quickly arriving to your destination.
But why do that?
Instead, just drive. Drive anywhere. Let the car take you wherever it wants to take you. Of course, not to another car, but to a destination. Unplanned plans are the best because it takes you to an unexpected place.
See where I’m getting at? What I’m saying is not to have a plan on your life. Let the wind take you anywhere. I promise it will take you somewhere that you never had thought you would cross paths with.
Whether you’re 20, 24, 27, 30 or older you should not feel a sense of lost or confusion. You leaped over bridges, holes and fire to get where you are right now. Be proud of that. If you have a passion that you want to explore in, just do it. Cliché, I know. But, when you open up an unexpected door, there will be many other surprises and opportunities waiting for you. This is the time.
I say this because I am in that exact position. I am a 20 year old woman. I’ve Social Work graduate. I am going to be going to York University this coming fall for Psychology for 3 years. I was supposed to be working during my summer break. But, I didn’t get any calls back from the jobs I applied to. Before school ended, I told myself I will get a part-time job. I told myself with the job I get I will eventually have my own money to pay for my own things. I had my hopes up high, real high.
That disappointment followed through. I was losing myself because it’s been 2 months into summer break and nothing was happening. My episode for depression came through so did anxiety and stress. My family saw it and they couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know what to do. I gave my hopes up for god and started to believe in myself. I then started to focus on myself, physically and mentally.
That’s when I fell into blogging. Not only does blogging help my mind from going the wrong path, but I can spread my message to anyone out there going through the same thing. If I hadn’t been lost, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today. What am I going to do next? I don’t know. Work, possibly? But, that’s only if the work gods want me to work. Do I know exactly what I’m going to do? No, and I don’t want to know.
Just because you don’t have your life together, doesn’t mean the world is ending. It just means the flower is starting to blossom right now. You’ll be amazed at how far your petals will extend and who will be there to be proud of your growth. Take care of yourself first, focus on yourself and make yourself happy. When you start to taking care of yourself and do what you want to do, everything else will fall into place. I promise.
It’s one thing to spend money and enjoy the moment or experience, but it’s another to hold back and be worrying about the money every step of the way.
Everything that we do in life only benefits ourselves, not anyone else.
Why are you holding back on the beautiful experience because your money is going to waste? When you come to think of it. Everything that we spend our money on is a waste. So we might as well stop doing everything and not live life. But, why aren’t you doing that? You’re doing it because it makes you happy and is part of life. Not only does it make you happy, it also is a part of who you are.
Money comes and money goes. But, experiences and memories don’t come when you want it. They might come at a wrong time, and when it does, do whatever it takes to gain that experience and make it a memorable one. You don’t want to have the feeling of regret or the thought of next time, because there is not going to a next time.
When you get the opportunity to fly to Europe, do it.
When you get the urge to buy something from Starbucks or Baton Rouge, do it.
When you get the urge and want to buy yourself a beautiful piece of clothing, do it.
Saying no because you don’t want to spend money on something useless, limits you on life and enjoying every bit of what is to offer you. If you see something and know it’ll benefit your life in some way, get it. If you buy something and you don’t use it, it’s also fine. At least you bought it and used it to know that it wasn’t as fun as you thought. It’s better than driving home and putting yourself down for not buying it and knowing what it is.
Now there are many places and things you can do and explore without having to spend a dime. This is way better than having to spend money. But, when it comes a time where you investment is needed, that requires payment, then do it. This is for the moments where you think you don’t want to spend any money.
You don’t know when your last chance of doing something is. So why limit yourself to a beautiful life that is been given to you. Spread your wings and explore the world.
Money will come. I promise you on that. Money does come even when you think you’re broke. Don’t limit yourself because you don’t have money. Or if you do have money and don’t want to spend anything.
The feeling you get when you come back from a vacation and remember the beautiful memories, scenery and eating the delicious food is far more important than worrying about spending all that money on something useless.
The feeling you get when you fit into a gorgeous dress that you were hesitant on and getting compliments from it is far more important than stressing over on how much you spent on it.
The feeling you get when you spend the weekend at a cottage surrounded by family and friends is far more important than worrying about how much each item costs.
Experience and memories are more important than money. Money doesn’t value anything, not even the love for family or the memories you make with them.
What I am saying is invest. Make memories. Get experience and enjoy the moment.
Storms don’t last forever. Now, when you witness a storm coming through, everyone gets excited. You see people running for cover. A dark sky, sun is hidden and roaring thunder rips through the skies. Once the thunder has gone, the sun peeps through and some days you may witness a rainbow. This time you see everyone coming out of shelter and continuing on with their activities.
This reflects on life, my life & your life.
There are many days that I go through which feels it’s falling apart. Some days I feel like there is no solution to my problem. Some days I ache for a solution so I can get over this cloud that I feel. But, I’m wrong. There is always a solution to every problem.
I shouldn’t rush for an instant solution because it’ll lead to a temporary hole. It may take 3 weeks or 3 months, it’s called being patient and waiting for the best result. The problems I go through always last for about 3 three weeks and everything seems fine until another problem tumbles down. Through this I’ve learned that the problems don’t last forever. It’ll definitely pass leaving you with strength to be proud off.
An example from my life is during my college years. I had gone through the 2 years of college through an emotional roller coaster. There were times I had thought If I would be able to finish without giving up so quickly. With personal issues to deal with along with family, friends and dealing with school was quite difficult to handle. But, with the help of family and counselling I was able to fight through everything and be able to graduate on time. When my convocation had arrived a couple months ago, it was an emotional moment for me. It wasn’t because I was going to have a hard time finding a job after receiving my diploma (maybe this was it) but, as I was sitting on my chair waiting to get my diploma, I thought about how much those two years was literally a storm in itself. Now, sitting at my convocation after two years, graduating was the rainbow/sunshine to my story.
I promise, if you are going through any problems, issues or fighting a battle; it will definitely pass and you will be blessed with the best answer possible. Going through a problem means you’re going through it and you will be seeing the end result. It doesn’t mean you’re stuck or your life will end. With many problems you go through, you witness how strong you are coming out of it.
We know we have today, but we’re preparing ourselves for tomorrow. It’s okay to prepare yourself for tomorrow, but don’t over analyze every little thing. Don’t worry about what you’ll wear tomorrow on your date. Don’t analyze over what the plans are for tomorrow. Worry about it when that day and time comes. It’s not bad to prepare yourself for the future. But, don’t live in the future with the plans made, forgetting about today. We’re blessed to be woken up to another gorgeous and healthy day. Not many people in the world may be blessed enough to wake up to another day.
Past few years or more, I wouldn’t take my days gratefully. I would always look forward to the next day and next week. I would not focus on what was given in front of me. It was wrong of me for doing that. I would always plan ahead and when plans don’t follow through I would get upset. This was wrong for me to do because not everything in life goes according to your plan.
Go outside and enjoy the weather. Make plans with family or friends and do something crazy. Laugh really loudly until your stomach hurts. Don’t let anyone take away that gorgeous smile that you have. Many of us hold back on enjoying life due to money or waiting for the right time. There is no right time. The time is now. At this moment. If you have your mind set on something, do it. Today is the day. No one knows whether they’ll be given another day to live. So why die regretful when you can just live life now?
When you wake up, say thanks to God for giving you another day to live. Focus on today. Any plans that you made follow through. If you don’t have any plans, go somewhere. Do something different so you can remember about it next time.
Make every minute of your day count. Soak up every hour you spend. When you eat, bathe, nap, walk, sit, or even watch TV. The reason behind this is because it may be your last.
Forget about yesterday. Yesterday was done with. Whatever happened yesterday is left in the past. It should make you a better person. Don’t worry about the future. It will come when it comes. Worry about it at that time. Focus on today. You don’t know when a day will be taken away from you. Any plans that you made for the future can wait at that time. That day will come when it comes. Be excited and plan for when that day comes through. Don’t get excited today and ruin the blessed day you have in front of you. You’re using up a day by worrying about the past, when someone who’s eager to live on can use it wisely.
We may know quite a few families or people who have the best of the best and brag about what they have. What is bragging about it doing any good for you? Yes, you’re in a good position and you should be proud of yourself, so will we, but will that do anything more? No. It won’t do anything more, but ruin your personality and attitude. It’s like success and fame has brainwashed them and changed their whole life now that they are not in the poor category of life.
That’s now how it works out. You were once below down everyone. You were struggling to get a job, finish school properly, pay bills or even go out without having to think about money. But, through hard work and dedication you accomplished each and one of life’s next steps. By doing that it should’ve made you think about how life really works and how that putting hard work into something and having belief will get you somewhere. Also, the right timing will come and bless you with beautiful things. It should’ve made you humble because you could’ve stayed at the ground where you first started. But, no; you didn’t. Why? You didn’t stay low because you had goals and dreams just like everyone else.
This is the part where I would write an example of myself to make you understand. But, that’ll defeat the purpose of staying humble. But, let’s just say that my life is slowly getting to where I wanted to be. I’m not going to brag about it because I always keep thinking of the days, months and years of when I didn’t have anything in my life and was left to deal with a lot of missing holes and negativity; where I was left with just my family and school to deal with. But, now things have changed. I’m still the same human being because all of the good things that has happened had strengthen me and made me a better person.
This is where positivity comes in. When you don’t have anything, you need to remain positive. It’s difficult and I know, to think positive but that is the only thinking that will get you somewhere and have hopefulness through your struggles. Thinking negative will not get you anywhere and will direct you to a wrong path that you would regret.
You need to understand that when you are striving to get your life together, you still need to be grateful for the struggles you are going through because that is what makes someone a humble person. Being happy after getting what you want just sounds really greedy and evil. You need to be humble and positive in both situations and environment
There are many individuals who have everything taken away and are pushed to work hard to get what they want or be where they want. This is to see how life really works and see that hard work and dedication is what you need to motivate to be successful.
But, there are many people out there who have things come to them and don’t know the real meaning of fall down seven times, get up the eighth. Either that or once people start to get things that they wanted in life, that success changes their attitude and personality making them a greedy person.
When you get something in life, or are in a position where you feel happy, appreciate it. Not many people out there are at that state where they could have that feeling. But when you do feel that wonderful feeling, feel it for them also. It took you a lot of hard work and dedication to get to where you want to be in life. Being selfish and letting the money or fame change you doesn’t do any good to you or your surroundings.
Work hard. Do the best you can at a job to impress yourself and your employees. Get to the position where you want to be. Have the money to do certain things you’ve always wanted to do. But, don’t forget to stay humble and remember how and where you are in life to get to where you wanted to be.
Before you brag about what you have or where you are in life to someone, think about how the other person may feel. You were once in their shoes. Feeling down and hurt when the person told you that they have a car and a house. Stay humble and either let them find out or tell them in a polite manner. It’s not worth seeing someone else go through the same pain you once went through.
It’s like living life again. You go to parties, see the same people, drive the same way, sit down on the same couch as yesterday; just without that in the picture. Now, you’ve got to take them out of the picture and live life in a different way.
Many of us deal with grief differently. We have distractions such as food, music, alcohol. Or we actually accept the fact and/or suppress it till we remember again.
The first important thing you need to know is the fact anything, anyone or a place will never be permanent. People you see, engage with or know off will be going to god. The answer as to when, we don’t know. It could be today, tomorrow or next month. We never know what is going to happen to us at all.
Here are some healthy tips on dealing with grief.
- Accept that the person or living organism is gone. When you accept that the person is gone, it’s a healthy way of moving on. It puts yourself at ease and others at a peace of mind.
- They’re in a better place. Know the fact that the loved one is better off living beside with god than living in this society. Know that all the guilt feeling that the person had for watching them over is now all gone because they are in a better place. What better place is there than being with god than having to suffer with aches and pain and having you seeing your love one suffer from it. Or having the love one show it to their family.
- Soul is with us. When a person has passed away, their body is the only thing that is gone. Their soul is always with us. Do you ever get dreams about the person? Or see a shadow around your house? Do you feel like someone is watching you? Do you ever feel weird sense of smell or color whenever you’re walking? Know that your loved one is watching over you and is still with you. You’re never alone in the world. You’re always being followed, by spirits of course.
- Remembering the good memories. Many of us always think about the dreading fact that the person is gone. Don’t do that. It’s bad for you. It puts you in a place of sorrow in which isn’t healthy. Remember the happy memories you created or know of the person. This doesn’t know help elevate the mood but remembers you that the person lived a good life and memories were made instead of wasted.
- Lived a good life. Whether the deceased was a 90 year old or a 20 year old, know deep down that the person lived a good life. They saw, went through and felt everything they needed to at that age. They never missed anything. They may have missed the next steps of life but the experience they went through they definitely did not miss at all.